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First Day JittersStarting a new job is kind of like being the new kid in school. You don't know anyone, you don't know where anything is, and you're never quite ready for just how much is expected of you right off the bat. My very first shift went for ten hours. Ten hours of working my way through a pallet twice my height, opening boxes to restock the shelves, only to toss them back onto the pallet because there's no room to put anything. Like a new kid I expected a bit of hazing from the hardened veterans, but for the most part they left me alone. I guess it's because the ones that liked their jobs were busy working, and the ones that didn't were browsing our selection of nooses.
Somehow it went by pretty fast. I guess that's because I did a classic new kid thing; I banded together with the other new kids. Me, Julz and Julz (I've also got a high school friend named Julz, so this wasn't confusing at all) stomped up and down the aisles all night trying to find where in the pink row one specific generic
Ford: first chapterCold. Cold and wet. That was all he could feel. He couldn't move, he couldn't see and the only sound he could hear was his own shallow, panicked breathing. Suddenly light seared his eyeballs as the world moved around him. He seemed to be lying in a sealed tube of some sort, but how he had got there and for what reason eluded him. Actually, everything eluded him.
The tube slid open and newer air flowed over him, making his sweat-drenched body feel like ice. He wanted to sit up, to run from this place and never look back, but he couldn't so much as lift a finger or wiggle his toes. A rhythmic clacking approached him-footsteps. Suddenly he saw a face peering down at him through a pair of spectacles. A woman she was wearing a coat so white it nearly blinded him again. A doctor, maybe? Was he sick? He sure didn't feel well. She didn't ask how he was. Perhaps she knew he couldn't respond. Her hands were everywhere, prodding and poking at him, pulling back his eyelids, pressing cold met
Finally got it right.People often ask me how I got into this business, this life. Youre not exactly gangster material, they say. And I guess theyre right. Anyone else and theyd have walked away with at least a broken nose, if they could walk away at all. I wasnt born to crime; I wasnt raised by violence; I chose this, purely because I had no other options.
When the recession hit, everyone feared it was the Great Depression all over again. And in a way, they were right. Technically it wasnt anywhere near as bad as that, but you gotta remember, these were a spoiled people. When the drought forced water restrictions upon them, they would hose their lawns from their neighbours taps. These were people that would take twelve plastic bags with their shoppingone for each itemand bitch to high heaven when supermarkets started charging them for ten cents apiece. The selfish masses would not be denied their luxuries, no matter the cost to the government, environme
His Own Harshest JudgeHes late.
Hell be here.
Oh this is not good.
Well, you know how he likes to make an entrance.
The two young men stood by the stream nervously as the townspeople moved about them. One was far too small for his age, the other too large. Side by side they looked positively absurd. Despite this, nobody paid them any mind; it was not them the people had come to see. Unable to contain his unease, the smaller one spoke again.
Youve seen how useless a fighter I am, and youre not much better. Without him, we dont stand a chance.
Just wait, said the larger with all the optimism of a man about to be put to death, hell be here.
More people began to arrive for the fight. To the village elders, this tournament was a time-tested method for determining who best to lead the town militia in the even of an attack. To everyone else it was stick-fighting, an entertainingand on the s
VA Comfortably for DickheadsThis is a followup to Proffate's "Voice Acting for Morons" and Doyvid's "Sound Recording for Idiots". My focus is on making the recording environment as comfortable as possible, to reduce distractions and detractions. NOTE: You don't have to be a dickhead for this to apply to you, but it helps.
This is not to do with giving such an awesome take that the microphone bursts into flames (though if you can do that, kudos and make a youtube video of it). Doyvid advised closing off the recording room and covering the computer tower with blankets to reduce ambient noise. I'd like to point out that while this shuts unwanted noise out, it also shuts unwanted heat in. In our early years there would be four of us in the one room during takes, and with the doors and windows closed and everything else covered in blankets, it got dizzyingly hot very fast. So take care to step outside for air and ice after every few takes, or else all you'll get is a bunch of recordings of people passi
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More